drifting in and out of ok

my mouth drys
from the burning of the decaying goods
the dressage of the breath with smoke
they should make food infused air

i hinder swallowing water
sucking at the bad tastes which are leftover
the bacteria creates a foulness
the last products of decomoposition are unappealing to all the senses

cleansing the palette
making way for "more", for the new
all reactions propel a further reaction
im at a loss, who made these choices of these reactions

its not all about me
dungbeetles enjoy poo

im a free pawn
there is no freedom in that
interaction isn't reason enough to create a pawn
from the pawns perspective that is

if its so important just to "be"
why didn't the illusive "god" / lifeforce just be
why did it need to see itself, create things
boredom. compulsion. lonliness

i hanker for another cigarette
if only to feel the breathe with more certainty
and wallow in more senses
let another ten minutes pass