i forget

how quickly i forget what was on my mind intensely 10 mins ago!
i had this point of reflection that i just had to express and now it is gone!

oooo
i remember
it was about this lobotomy documentary i watched last night,
about how there has probably always been the same proportion of people unable to cope with the process of life.
the lobotomy "came to life" after the end of WW2 and the pictures of multitudes in concentration camps and then their was a wash in the newspapers a series on how the mental institutions showed similar sights of people fear embodied and distraught with them housed on mass in similar hygenic and otherwise sites such as viewed in concentration camps.

then came the quick fix to mental issues of the lobotomy where in fact once freedman had developed his version of the lobotomy it was a 3min job. it involved severing the nerves between the thalamas and the frontal lobes! after which most people where some what vegetables but at least, gone was the fear and the pain of mental anguish.

raised was the question of what did we value more in life the ability to feel or the ability to be only semi functional. either way i would say they were only semi-functional, it was just the effect on others that made the decision easy, make them a vegetable, i wish not to see them in such pain. and yet i to may have given consent at points in my life where the pain was unbearable, although the prospect of being a vegetable wouldn't win either so maybe no lobotomy for me!

it was gross though, he literally shoved a steel icepick under the eyelid and cracked through to the brain and severed sections! he couldn't possibly have know exactly which but just at best guess "in the general area" which he intended to sever!

it was weird! ... from that though came the drug to do a non surgical lobotomy, having similar vegetative states to that of the lobotomy! and thats how we got onto drugs to cure mental illness, weird eh, seeing this is now how i am under this control!

a step on from a lobotomy eh, but still a medicine in order to dull my reality!

did you know they still perform lobotomies in extreme cases of obsessive compulsive disorder... weird eh!

bfldjkhalk

its the continuing upward spiral of intensity that gets me,
the increasing load of "your not doing what everyone else is doing"!
now don't get me wrong its not like this is a new phenomena to me,
but bloody hell how long will the parade of life disconnected to your own continue!
will it be like this endlessly?
a life outside of what reality portrays
i suppose that is why i watch art films