in the movies vs real life

watching movies of strength and overcoming adversity makes me feel weak and silly that im emotional over the things that i am!
Its only in independence of creating something that i fee stronger! Like there is a little bit of claire out there in the world!
And why is it I have to be out there! ?
Cause otherwise i don't feel alive! Without validation it seems somewhat obsolete!But the validation is only thru me, of how proud i feel. I think work although validated isn't by me and thus it isn't sustaining! Is not satisfying!
I never gave myself the freedom to fly with work, it was like it must be done, not u choose ur own adventure!

To independence

what say ye

i think but do i really say! I barely influence my own sense of self, why is it i don't believe my own intuition. learn to trust, maybe then i shall find the right path... is it the longing that keeps me from it!